When she started the PhD program in English at UT Austin, Melanie never dreamed she was embarking on a long and twisty path to her dream job. Who would have thought that intensive study of postmodern and rhetorical theory, close reading of texts like Beowulf and One Hundred Years of Solitude and What Maisie Knew, as well as teaching hundreds of undergraduates how to write persuasive essays and research papers would perfectly equip her for reviewing restaurants, editing writers, and eating more hot sauce than is probably allowable under the Geneva Convention? When she’s not eating professionally, Melanie is working out (because: eating professionally), knitting, reading, and writing a novel she’s been working on since Barack Obama was President.