Texas Football Season Preview: The University of Texas at Here We Go With This Shit Again

Bijan Robinson (Courtesy of Texas Athletics)

Another season of Longhorn football is nigh upon us, and, as ever – maybe more than ever – there is palpable excitement surrounding Steve Sarkisian's latest herd of 'Horns. You can be sure that never in the history of intercollegiate American football has a program garnered such optimism off the back of a downright dismal 5-7 season, complete with bowl ineligibility and a home loss to the feeble Kansas Jayhawks that still feels like it took place in an alternate dimension.

"Cautious optimism," we Longhorns fans will qualify it. Because we know better. We know better than to pledge blind faith to a program that hasn't won a conference title since the Great Recession. Or at least, that's what we'll try to sell you. But it's all a ruse. Deep down, in places we don't talk about at parties, we truly believe this is the year it all comes good. We're on the toilet with our phones out secretly throwing fifties on the Texas +500 moneyline vs. mighty Alabama in Week 2 despite all logic and reason assuring us that those President Grants might as well be following our number twos up the S-bend.

Yeah, it's a problem. And here's the sickest part ...

There are legitimate reasons to be bullish about the Burnt Orange this year. Hell, some are damn good reasons! So if you're ready to be hurt again, or you're like me and just can't help yourself ... cheers. Let's raise a glass of Kool-Aid and fire up the hype machine.

Three Reasons Why Texas Will Be Back in 2022

1) Bijan Robinson. If Texas is to reach its ceiling at the end of the season, it will be the culmination of several best-case scenarios playing out up and down the roster. But when it comes to the backfield, Texas is a stone-cold lock to have an advantage every week of the season. Junior tailback Bijan Robinson is the most gifted runner in the country and a legitimate Heisman Trophy contender in what is likely to be his final season in Austin before entering next year's NFL Draft. He should benefit from a theoretically improved offensive line and another year of Sarkisian meditating over creative ways to get him the football.

2) Quinn Ewers. Contrary to what Manning mania may have led you to believe, it won't be Peyton and Eli's nephew Arch under center for the 'Horns this season. He still has his senior year of high school to enjoy. Instead, it will be fellow five-star quarterback and former Southlake Carroll Dragon Quinn Ewers leading the huddle for Texas after transferring from Ohio State in the offseason. Ewers took a redshirt year with the Buckeyes last season and bolted for UT – the school he was initially committed to – for a chance to start immediately. He will. How that will go, especially in year one under Sark's tutelage, is perhaps the biggest question mark surrounding Texas this season. But the talent is there, and so are the weapons. Xavier Worthy and Jordan Whittington lead a stacked wide receiver corps flanking the mullet-topped QB.

3) O-Who? While a move to the SEC looms for Texas and Oklahoma at some point between now and 2025, until further notice, both schools remain in the Big 12. That's good news in the short term. The list of adversaries outside of the Red River rivals capable of winning the conference this season pretty much starts and ends with Baylor and Oklahoma State. Give me those odds any year. And as far as the Sooners are concerned, with rookie head coach Brent Venables and placeholder quarterback Dillon Gabriel at the helm, this is as much of a rebuilding year as you'll ever see up in Norman. A Golden Hat celebration on October 8 is absolutely mandatory for Texas this year.

Honorable Mention: You may have noticed a distinct lack of defense discussed to this point. That's because it's unlikely to be very good. Texas gave up the 99th-most points per game in the nation last season and was simply incapable of holding leads late. They'll have nearly all their starters back for this season, which is great if you value experience but less great if you value actually having been good in the past. The biggest addition and source for optimism, by far, is actually in the coaching office. While it will still be second-year defensive coordinator Pete Kwiatkowski calling the plays, he'll have former TCU head coach and defensive Sith Lord Gary Patterson in his service this year in an advisory capacity. Take the advice, PK. Take all the advice.

The UT Longhorns kick off the season at DKR-Texas Memorial Stadium on Sept. 3, 7pm, against the University of Louisiana Monroe.