The Luv Doc: Testing Your Loyalty

Dear Luv Doc,

Over Thanksgiving my boyfriend's older brother hit on me for the third time. The first time he did it we had just started dating and we were at a nightclub in Dallas and I thought he was messing with me so I laughed it off. I told my boyfriend about it and he laughed about it too, so I thought everything was cool. Then his brother hit on me again when we were camping last fall. We had been drinking and smoking pot all night, but even though I was pretty high myself, that time I felt like he was being serious. I didn't tell my boyfriend about that time because I thought he might not believe me. Last weekend we were at his parents' house in Dallas again and he asked me if I wanted to "go check out the pool house with him." This time I was really disgusted and I realize now he has a problem – maybe with drinking, but definitely with being an untrustworthy creep. My boyfriend thinks he's a great guy and I don't want to ruin his image of his brother, but I feel like this problem might only get worse. My friend suggested that maybe he's just testing my loyalty, but it really doesn't feel like that's what's going on. I know there is no easy solution here, but what should I do?  – Family Issues

A pool house you say? Well done! Although, I have to admit that most swimming pools aren't worth much in the fall for anything other than collecting leaves. Hot tubs, on the other hand, are really great in the fall unless you're fending off the unwanted advances of your boyfriend's older brother. That will ruin a hot tub sesh faster than a Baby Ruth bar. Wait ... is that actually a Baby Ruth bar? Ewww! Don't touch it!

Good lord! Imagine being the ghost of a beloved home-run-hitting baseball legend and finding out your namesake candy bar is a stunt poo for the most iconic pool turd prank in cinematic history. Let's hope that never happens to Albert Pujols! Actually, I am sure he's a lovely fellow, but it's unlikely he will get a chocolate bar named after him even if he puts up spectacular numbers in the next few years. It's the phonetics. Nobody's eating Pujols, not even if he parks a hundo this year.

Unfortunately, it appears your brother's brother is a bit of a shit himself. I am not buying that "testing your loyalty" crap. No matter how noble his intentions, hitting on his brother's girlfriend is a dick move. If he really does think he's testing your loyalty, it's an even bigger dick move. And by the way, in this case, "bigger dick" is not a good thing.

So here's the ugly part: Yes, you need to tell your boyfriend. Will he react defensively? Maybe. Will he get angry and insinuate that you're just imagining these unwanted overtures? Perhaps, but there's an equal likelihood that he already knows his brother is a douche and will share your outrage. It's just a shame that you couldn't find the courage to tell him at the time because there's nothing like a good poolside Turkey Day donnybrook to shake off the stultifying effects of tryptophan.

Nonetheless, since you, your boyfriend's brother and your friend are the only ones who know about this, it's pretty much on you to get the ball rolling to put a stop to it. If you're feeling plucky, call your boyfriend's brother yourself and tell him he's being a douchebag and to knock it the fuck off. There's a decent possibility he might hear your truth if you scream it loudly enough. The best course of action, I think, is to tell your boyfriend and let him know it creeps you out. It's rarely a smart decision to keep others in the dark. Unlike a Baby Ruth, truth always seems to make it to the surface eventually.