Qmmunity: New Year, New Homoscopes

(l-r) Lyric Metroplos and Kathleen Adeline N. of Kiki Machine (Photo by @kelly.theslayer)

What are you most proud of in 2022? A piece of writing you got published? A recipe you mastered? A career goal you achieved? For me, I'm pretty proud of introducing a new column format into the Qmmunity ecosystem: homoscopes, aka assigning each zodiac sign a queer event that suits them best. Only one or two folks have been "offended" by their event being under a certain sign. (I know many great Geminis … it's just that everyone else seems to know terrible ones … *>_>*)

As 2023 fast approaches, take a look at what the gay stars have in store for you.

Homoscopes

Capricorn

Irene's Return of the Drag NYE Bash Queens Bohemia and Honey Baby along with DJ Wytenoize help Irene's throw a fun and fancy New Year's Eve drag show. Sat., Dec. 31, 9pm. Irene's, 506 West Ave. GA, free; VIP tables, $500-1,000. instagram.com/irenesaustin.

Come as You Are A queer variety show with a li'l bit of everything, like drag, spoken word poetry, and comedy, but never the same act twice. Tuesdays, 10pm. Neon Grotto, 318 Colorado. instagram.com/neon.grotto.

Aquarius

Pink Power! A NYE Extravaganza A NYE party inspired by an article in local 1970s underground newspaper The Rag that called for the "liberation of homosexuals." A portion of ticket sales goes to elder care org Rainbow Connection ATX. Sat., Dec. 31, 9pm. Wax Myrtle's, 506 San Jacinto. $35. waxmyrtles.com.

Pisces

Kiki Machine This band of "sad queer gals" (whose single "Sakura" releases Jan. 13) shares space with TC Superstar, Motorsports, and Sad Cops (Denton) on a Howdy Gals-curated lineup. Fri., Dec. 30, 9pm. Swan Dive, 615 Red River. $10. howdygalsatx.com.

Aries

TheleMagick: Saturnalia Celebrate the ancient Roman festival honoring the god Saturn with drag performances and magic abounding. Thu., Dec. 29, 9:30pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. instagram.com/cheerupcharlies.

Taurus

Coco Cxnts Drag Brunch They've hit the terrible twos: Bohemia, Arinna Dior Heys, Brigitte Bandit, and host Honey Baby celebrate the Cxnts' second anniversary this week. Saturdays, 1-4pm. Coconut Club, 310-B Colorado. No cover. instagram.com/coconutclub.austin.

Gemini

DiscoTexx/Masqueerade Disco and Texas meet at this NYE party stacked with yer CUC faves. Sat., Dec. 31, 9pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. $10. instagram.com/cheerupcharlies.

Cancer

Sunday Fundaze Chique Fil-Atio and Louisianna Purchase throw a brunch kiki. First Sundays, 1:30pm. The Iron Bear, 301 W. Sixth. fb.com/theironbearatx.

Leo

Queer Black Women Alliance Vision Board Party Make sure to bring your own art supplies. Fri., Dec. 30, 6-9pm. Pinthouse Brewing, E. Ben White. Free but RSVP. queerblackwomenalliance.org.

Virgo

New Year's Group Workout Start the new year with this workout collab between OutFitness and Tallahassee's Talk Lift Heal. Sat., Jan. 7, 9am. OutFitness, 404-A Powell Circle. Free but RSVP. outfitnessatx.com.

Libra

Tongue in Cheek/Austin Vogue Nights Enjoy Aira Juliet and Ivy Le's queer comedy open mic before House of Lepore takes the stage. First Thursdays, 8 & 10pm. $5. Swan Dive, 615 Red River. instagram.com/swandiveaustin.

Scorpio

Vestite Catch this local synth-pop star with In a Darkened Room and Sin + Seraphim. Thu., Jan. 5, 9:30pm. Elysium, 705 Red River. fb.com/elysiumaustin.

Saggittarius

Slay_Them.mp4 Thee Nightmara hosts a 21+ drag show focused around PC music and hyperpop. Fri., Dec. 30, 10pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. instagram.com/cheerupcharlies.